C is for College

I first started going to college when I was 16 years old. I did a program through a local technical school where the high school was actually inside the college. I took high school and college courses at the same time to try and graduate and have a "running start" on my college degree. Now... Don't dont let that fool you into thinking I was some type of academic all-star or anything. I actually didn't even make it to high school graduation there. I ended up leaving to finish out my high school through a home school program (lets just say I had skipped a lot and was really behind in my credits.) At the time, getting through high school was a major accomplishment. I mean it was a struggle getting myself there, as I was one of those high schoolers that thought "screw it...I'll just drop out." It crossed my mind many times, but I don't think at that age we really know what a big decision that is. Needless to say, Im thankful that I completed high school. I actually have this reoccurring nightmare that it didn't really happen which is strange and stressful.

So that was my first attempt at college. I think during that 9 months of college I changed my degree probably 3 times. So I really never ended up with any credits of value to me.

My second attempt at college was when I was around 18 years old. I think at this time I was really just trying to do the whole "this what you do after high school" thing. So this trip back to college didn't last very long either. I actually can't even recall if I lasted more than two quarters in school. I just wasn't committed. I was bored. Sick of school. Barely graduated anyways and here I was throwing myself back into school because it's "what you do" and I was just trying to "do the right thing."

I ended up feeling really discouraged after committing to school twice and deciding that I changed my mind about going to college. People make comments and they wonder why you're quitting, but looking back and even now I wonder to myself how can you even possibly know what you want to do at 18? Sure, there are those people that knew they wanted to be a fire fighter when they are 3 years old and that seriously is what they've always wanted to do for as long as they can remember. But realistically, that's not a majority of us.

So, In my completely discouraged state I decided to "just work". I worked and worked and worked. Then I worked some more. I worked hard for a little bit of money like most people without a degree or any type of career. I moved out. paid bills. was broke. The whole package.

Then when I was around 21 I started to really see the appeal of going back to college. It was all I wanted to do was figure it all out. Figure out what it is that I wanted to do and go learn the skills I needed to learn. But this time it wasn't as easy as saying "I want to go back to school."  Why? Well, when I was 16 and 18 I had parents that were willing to pay for the expenses to get me through school, but by the time I had the desire for a 3rd time they weren't so sure that I would follow through. How can I blame them? So, of course, I began to look into how I could get help going back to school.... but I couldn't get any grants, so my only option was to take out loans. I didn't want to end up majorly in debt and I was feeling a little wary about college still because I heard so many people tell me I had failed the two times before. I was worried that I would just fail again and let everyone down, but then owe money on top of that and that was scary to me.

I ended up figuring out that if I went when I was 24 years old I would qualify for more assistance. Who knows why, but thats how financial aid worked. So, I decided to continue doing what I was doing and look at college again when I could qualify for grants and scholarships.

I am proud to say that I went back to college at 24. I remember telling family members and having them give me the awesomely discouraging comments like "Are you sure this time?" or "do you really think you can do it?" but it was great because being that I was already terrified of failing and that those comments made me so angry they ended up being the fuel that kept me going. I always would think about how I was doing this for me, but how I was going to be able to say how wrong they were at the end.

I got my Associates in Graphic Design and another associates in Photography. Yes, thats right. TWO DEGREES! Not just one degree.

Of course, now here I am, a stay at home mommy. I have the best job ever and thankfully it's possible because of my wonderful husband. My skills are all quite rusty and I hardly have time to design anything with twins, but I am making it a goal to get a great design for this blog going (instead of this placeholder design.) It'll just be gradual over a long period of time, when I have my own free moments to spend on it.