E is for Emotionally Drained

Today is one of those days where it's really hard for me to be upbeat or positive because I'm just not feeling great. I knew today was going to be hard last night when my back was aching. It was ache-y all day today. It's not like I can just do NOTHING. I have to lives that need me to kick butt even when I'd rather lay in bed all day.

On top of my back, Brody was extra fussy today. I'm not really sure why. I can't say. I thought maybe teething, but for whatever reason he just did not settle easily and then he wouldn't take a decent nap either. I mean I just couldn't win. Of course, I still have Milo to take care of as well. We spent a lot of time switching babies in the jumper today for my own sanity. Lots of time on the playmat. Lots of rocking in our special chair that daddy bought us all. 

It's been one of those days when they start crying and all I want to do is just join in and cry, too. But of course, nothing is going to get accomplished doing that. 

Plus, I was getting really frustrated with myself. It seems like I couldn't do one single thing right today. My mother's thumb (a wrist/tendon condition from pregnancy that has still not gone away) was extra sore and makes it harder for me to lift both babies at once like I usually do. Something I've become very good at. When my thumb hurts it's harder to lift the second baby and extremely painful. I've been clumsy because I'm really tired and also starving (see: I never have time to eat enough.) So...at one point I was walking through the bedroom door and I bonked Milo's head on the door. Then later I was holding Brody and he like catapulted off me (they are getting their leg strength now) and I put my other hand behind him, but it startled him and he cried. I just felt like "I KNOW. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. Tell me about it!" It's just been that kind of day.

Being a stay-at-home mom really is the best job ever and I never like to complain because I'm so so so lucky to be home to watch my babies grow and change and I love every second of it...even these emotionally draining days, but it's certainly a hard job. The hardest job I have EVER done. Hands down. There is no one in this world that could convince me that I do not kick butt every day at this job...even on the "worst" of days.

This is the three of us tonight!

Now.....I could be sleeping, but of course even in complete exhaustion I cant fall asleep because it's "too early" and I still have to make bottles and do a thousand things before I'm even ready for bed. By then... they'll be up to eat again.