Formula Drift Seattle: Will I survive a big event?

Tomorrow Jon and I are attending Round 5 of Formula D at Monroe Speedway. I bought tickets as a gift for his birthday which was on July 11th. I wanted to do something he would enjoy because our wedding is the same month and he worked his birthday, so we didn't have our normal celebration for him. Plus with the babies on the way I know that these aren't things we'll be doing for a few years after they arrive.

Even while purchasing tickets to the event I was thinking "What am I getting myself into?"

I will be 18 weeks pregnant on Monday and I already get easily tired and worn out. I swear Im already waddling, but I think it's just in my head. I can tell that things that would have been no big deal before are now becoming more of a struggle to accomplish.

My main concern being how much walking will we be doing or not doing. I can walk for a little while without too much issue, but after a while I do need to rest and sit or else my back begins to hurt and I get tired.

My second concern was obviously eating, as the event is from noon to 8pm (we'll be showing up around 2 or so.) I did find out thanks to some amazing friends that I can bring in outside food and drink as long as it's sealed and unopened. So I plan to grab some things to snack on in the morning to pack in our bag. I'll probably still buy food while there, but at least we wont spend a fortune eating food there all day, since I'll probably be starving the whole time.

I jokingly told Jon it would be really funny to take photos of me in fromt of cars in the car shows with my pregnant belly, like how they have the hot skinny chicks model around cars. HAHA. He thought it was funny, but Im not sure if he'll actually do it. I still want to because I think they'd make for some really funny pictures to remember the day. If he wont take them I'll rally one of our friends to do it for me. I know someone will. :-P I will definitely post some photos, since I haven't taken any since I was 16 weeks.

So, I'm really hoping I can enjoy the event, maintain my energy, and stick it out so that Jon can fully enjoy his birthday gift. He of course, is willing to leave if I need to go home and rest and is completely amazing in making sure that I'm getting whatever I need. But Im going to try and sit often and eat and drink often, so that hopefully we can enjoy the entire day.

Car Dilemmas: Something you may need to think about

A few years ago I sold my massive boat-sized Cadillac because well I never felt comfortable driving such a big car. I had no reason to own such a large car, which might I add also guzzled more gas than I'd like to ever talk about.

I was set on getting myself an older Subaru Impreza and I wanted a coupe. Jon helped me find *my* car and it was love at first sight despite needing some TLC.

In any case, buying such a small compact vehicle was the best choice I have ever made because it fits in every spot and I feel comfortable driving it. And look... it's just so cute!

There is no dilemma until the shock settles and we begin to digest the fact that we are having TWO babies, not just one. Then there are all sorts of things to consider.

Will car seats even fit in my 2-door vehicle?

Will a double stroller fit in my tiny tiny trunk?

Will I be able to get the babies in and out of my car?

Just a few of many thoughts that have crossed my mind over the last 3 months. I have solved some of the dilemmas.

Car Seats: I found out from friends with children that Babies R Us allows you to take the car seats to your car and actually fit them in your vehicle. I can't even begin to say how thankful for this service I am. Jon and I went down to BRU one day and attempted to fit the car seats I had chosen based on various reviews and THEY FIT, with room for both passenger and driver. Although I will say if you had a very tall driver or passenger they may not fit so comfortably.

In case you're curious which car seat's we chose:

We are going to end up purchasing the Chicco Keyfit 30 car seats. They fit great. They are small, unlike some other models. The other thing I really appreciate about these is that they aren't too heavy. I'm no body builder, although I have a feeling lifting two babies and two car seats often will probably help in that department, but I still need the car seat by itself to be light weight enough that when I add a baby to the mix I can lift it. This seems to fit that requirement as well. Most of the other car seats were significantly heavier or they were too big to fit into the car. 

Tandem Stroller: Since my car has such a tiny trunk, fitting a stroller into it was a huge concern that I had. In fact, it was my biggest concern. After all.... if I can't put a stroller in the car how will I transport the babies, which then became the nightmare of "Will I have to get rid of my car??" and of course I absolutely do not want to do that if I can possibly avoid it. 

My first thought was how much luck we had at Babies R Us with trying out the car seats, so I figured thats the first place I should go to try out strollers. WRONG! So wrong. Not knowing this, I went to BRU to test out strollers. First, I was just testing them around the store for their ability to maneuver and then I was testing them to see how easy they folded and of course the FINAL test "Does it fit in the car?" Well, for some reason our tandem strollers of today have become like mini Hummers, with excess everything. I wont lie, I was always that lady that scoffed at massive double strollers in stores and now here I am finding myself in need of one. We tested every single stroller, even the ones I didn't like, alas, no stroller that was carried "in-store" fit into my little coupe.

It was time to take to the internet and see what I could figure out. After a little bit of digging I found that of all brands, Jeep makes a compact tandem stroller, that is actually pretty cute and after measuring my trunk I found that it should fit my trunk.

I immediately ordered the Jeep Traveler Tandem in Spark.

when it arrived I first tested it to see if it fit the way it was shipped (without the wheels assembled and various other parts.) IT FIT! IT FIT! It fit in my tiny little trunk. I drug it back inside and put it all together and spent some time figuring out how to fold it up, which was a little tricky at first, but not much worse than some of the other tandem strollers. I got it all folded properly and put in my car fully assemled.... IT STILL FIT!

I felt I had won the biggest victory. Their car seats fit and their stroller fit, with some extra room for a few bags of groceries or whatever else I may need. I wasn't expecting extra room, but I'll be glad to have it I'm sure.

I'll have to review how I like the actual stroller once they are old enough to ride in it, as clearly this stroller will not be their car seat stroller. It does fit one car seat, but not two, so until they are old enough to fit this stroller I am planning to get the BabyTrend Snap-N-Go tandem stroller frame.



 I still need to check the folding measurements to make sure this one fits when folded, as we dont want any surprises, but Im sure since it's just a frame it must fit. It just must!

Getting the babies out of the car: Well, while they are in car seats it will be a little bit of a juggling act. I think it will be okay getting the car seats out, but I will have to see once we have them and I can test them out completely. I think despite a two door car seeming very inconvenient at first, once they are bigger the car will be awesome. Think about it.... no doors for them to open (yes there are child safety locks, but if you ever forgot to put them back on...) and no window buttons for them to play with. Two babies completely contained in the back seat. I think it's quite perfect. So while it may be a bit of a hassle to deal with at first, in the end I hope it's worth it or I might have to let my little black beauty of a car go.

I'm sure more concerns will come up as this pregnancy progresses, but for now I feel the biggest one, which was the thought of purchasing a new car, has been laid to rest and can be put off for some time now.

Wedding Bells are a week away!

Im getting married in 10 DAYS!!!! 

A few things you might want to know:

My fiance, Jon and I, have been together for 8 and 1/2 years.

A year and a half ago, on Valentine's Day, he proposed to me. Of course, I said "Yes."

For the last year and a half we have been arranging and making plans for our wedding day. 

So, originally we had completely different ideas about how we would get married. I have always been a simple person and I really hate being center of attention. In fact, the idea of being in front of people (even ones I know) and having to be coherent completely terrifies me. I originally really wanted to just have a court house style wedding since we had been together for so long anyways. Then we would have had a reception to celebrate with friends and family.

My fiance wanted to have a real wedding. It didn't have to be big, but he really wanted to have an actual wedding and have all of his family here from out of town. He wanted to do it right and as he said to me "we're only doing this once, so we might as well have an actual wedding."

For a long time I was really nervous about the concept and nervous about the whole thing. Through out the planning process I've had moments where I said to myself "Why didn't we just do it the way I wanted?" because let me tell you... planning a wedding is no walk in the park, even one as simple as ours. 

However, after a year and a half of talking about it, planning it, meeting with our mothers to help put it together, getting (almost) everything we need to celebrate our day.... Im honestly EXCITED and also just really ready for the day to be here.

Im excited to celebrate with family and friends. I'm glad we chose to do it the way my fiance wanted. Now, I'm still pretty nervous about the actual ceremony, so dont get me wrong, but I realize that it wont be a long ceremony compared to most and that it WILL be in front of people close to us and thankfully the moms have calmed me by saying even they didn't recite it perfectly and that it's no big deal.

I am definitely feeling less nervous and more ready to celebrate than I have before. I know it will be a blast, but I am really ready to get to wedding day.

So, these next few weeks are going to be busy and go by quickly. I have tons of things to do for the wedding and family in town afterwards, in addition to appointments for the twins.

I'm getting really excited and the anticipation might be what drives me crazy now instead of nervousness. 

I am sure I will have some nerves on the day of and maybe the night before, but a lot of those nerves are put at ease because my fiance and I have spent so many years together. I'm not marrying someone I barely know and so I have no nerves about it being the right choice. He's the one and always has been the one and I'm looking forward to the next chapter of our lives as a married couple and soon-to-be mommy and daddy to two wonderful boys! 

Drum Roll Please.....

We had our 16 week ultrasound and check up. It was my second (of many) anatomy scans, as I have come to find out. Anatomy scans with twins last about 90 minutes, but thankfully I no longer need to have a full bladder because 90 minutes is a long time to hold back for a pregnant woman.

Our scan went amazing. Both babies weighing in at a normal 6oz right now. Wiggling and moving and getting cranky during the ultrasound. I've noticed that Baby B in particular seems to have the latter quality in particular. B really does not like to be poked and prodded and sometimes he even rolls over and faces away from us mid-way through. It's kind of comical and I like to tease his father that they will  probably be a lot alike with that personality trait.

In any case, those two looming questions from a few weeks ago can finally be answered.

These two babies are....

BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and they are IDENTICAL! 

(although we only got one really decent profile shot.... the other ones do look very similar. Im sure we'll be able to tell more as they get bigger.) 

So, we are having two Identical twin boys! We are so excited. I always imagined that I would have a boy when I had my first child or I guess when I imagined my family it always was a family with a son and even though I had that vision I mostly wanted them to be healthy regardless of gender. Of course my fiance really wanted to have boys, but would have been excited to have girls as well. I think it's just perfect. I never imagined myself having two babies at one time, so that's certainly a surprise, but Im looking forward to the challenge and all the fun and exciting moments, even through the sleepless nights and delirious days. 

Identical or Fraternal? Boys or Girls?

Whenever you tell someone you are in fact pregnant and then you follow the response that you're actually pregnant with twins the questions and stories come rolling in. I actually have found people's interest quite enjoyable. I love talking about my twins as an already proud mother, obviously. But I also really enjoy hearing their stories about twins they knew or twins in their family. I don't know that the stories are necessarily going to be any help in preparing me for such a big undertaking, but I always like to ask people how the twins they know have turned out, were they best of friends? did they hate each other? Did they grow up with identity crisis' or were they completely happy being a twin? I've heard the far ends of both spectrums from various people and I suppose there is no way to be sure they don't have a complex about being a twin, but one thing I've said since 6 weeks when we found out we were indeed having twins, was that I really wanted them to find their own identity and that I didn't want them to always think they were the same person because they will each be unique in their own way. Hopefully, as they develop their personalities I'll be able to find things that make them an individual and help them focus on those things. Of course, as much as I imagine how this would work perfectly in my head I know twins tend to have a whole plan of their own, a language of their own, and chances that I can actually emphasize that may be harder than I think. I guess as long as they are happy then I'm happy and as long as they feel equally loved then I'll be doing the best that I can.

The two questions I'm asked most often since the beginning have been:

"Do you know if they are Identical or Fraternal?" 

Not yet. Originally we were told that they would be able to tell around 10 weeks, but at our 10 week ultrasound they were unable to tell, but said they will likely be able to tell closer to 16 weeks or so.

"Are they Boys or Girls?"

Good question. I would love to know this answer as well because lets be honest... I'm ready to start getting their room put together, as it sits empty right now. The simple answer is it's still to early to know such a thing, but we should know around 16 weeks, as my team has told me they are willing to look at 16 weeks. A lot of other women have told me their doctors made them wait until 20 weeks and I know that private ultrasounds for early gender reveal are becoming more and more popular, but thankfully the office I go to is willing to take a peek.

Im currently 14 weeks, so just a few more weeks and I might be able to start to answer these questions when people ask me. Hopefully they cooperate for their ultrasound!

You're in for a real surprise!

Since my last post I did CONFIRM pregnancy. I guess that just goes to show you that you can't always be sure that the doctors tests are correct. Our "years" of trying ended up being just a few months. I know still that there are many people out there that do have to try for years and years and to those couples I just hope you get your positive very soon!

We do have a surprise. First we get the horrible news that we may NEVER have children without thousands of dollars invested in the latest medical interventions. We were just coming to grips with that news when we got the positive test results, that we are in fact pregnant.

At 6 weeks, we scheduled an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and hopefully see the heartbeat. We brought both our mothers with us for the appointment. I dont know how he was feeling, but I was definitely excited AND nervous. Part of me felt that I didn't want to start celebrating this really surprising blessing just yet because the doctors had already given us this horrible news that we couldn't have kids. I thought of everything, including the possibility that this might even be viable, but even then at least we would know that it wasn't impossible. I tried to think about all the positive things, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I had worries sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my name to be called, waiting to start the ultrasound already.

During the ultrasound, the midwife was so quiet. She wasn't showing me the screen, but my family could see a little bit. I kept saying over and over again "is there a heartbeat?" I felt like something was wrong because she was spending so much time looking at the screen. I probably repeated myself at least five times before she spoke.

Then she says "Well, Im just really distracted by the fact that there are TWO gestational sacs.

That's RIGHT! We're expecting TWINS!!!! 

When she said twins I started crying, laughing hysterically, turning bright red, and I had pretty much every emotion under the planet at the same time. I was happy they both had great heartbeats, they were both doing well for only being 6 weeks, they were TWO not one. I couldn't ask for more, but hearing that news is a total shock. It's a mix between panic of "OMG, I've never been a mother to ONE child and now I'm having two." to "Wow, we really struck gold. Maybe we should buy a lotto ticket because how did we go from not being able to have kids to now we are having two babies, not one."

Ultimately, I guess my fiance got his wish. He would always say he wanted two and i would always reply "We'll have one and see how that goes and then decide." I always figured we gotta at least try to do our best with one before we plan the rest right? Well, like I said in one of my first posts, life certainly has different plans that any of us could ever imagine. 

So begins Our Twin Life, as we will come to know it, you will too! 

This is a place I will write about the milestones of the pregnancy, the changes, the good and the bad. Their birth, but also being a first time mom to twins I know this will be a huge rewarding challenge in my life filled with good times and not-so-good times. There will be victories and hurdles. Im sure there will be plenty of sleepless nights, delirious ramblings, and things that I just have to learn along the way. No advice is going to prepare me enough for what these two bundles of joy will bring into my life, but hopefully other mom's of multiples can relate and hopefully this will be some kind of help to moms-to-be of multiples. Im not an expert at any of this, so this is all new to me, just as it might be new to you. 

Could the doctors be wrong?

I've been feeling strange the last week, which really wouldn't be strange considering I'm sure Aunt Flow is just getting ready to rear her ugly head and make the next week of my life hell on wheels, as she loves to do.

In any case, the symptoms are enough for me to use a cheap pregnancy test just to check. Am I torturing myself? Maybe I am... I mean Im not even "late" yet, but I figured I might as well check. Everything I've read said that it is possible to see something before your missed period, but not always.

I'm not sure how visible it is from this picture, but there seems to be a second line, indicating a positive test!! Both my fiance and I are panicking a little bit, as obviously after being told it could be years, we did not expect to see a positive test just TWO months after the news that we wouldn't be having kids without the possibility of using very expensive IVF treatments. I will be taking another test if Aunt Flow doesn't show up and to be honest, I feel pregnant, but I know the symptoms are the same often times.

This could be really exciting, but a huge change in our life, too! A lot to think about and we are still planning the wedding, which is just three and a half months away now.

Infertility?

My fiance and I have always talked about wanting children. I always said "one". He always said "Maybe two". After over 7 years together and with wedding plans in the making we both had this image of our our life would be one day. We had years to talk about all the things you could ever think of like how we would raise our kids, what they would be like, what they would grow up and do, quirks each of us had that we hoped our children wouldn't inherit, along with many more visions and ideas.

But sometimes life doesn't always go exactly how you planned it. Here I am going to document just exactly how far from our plan things have gone.

So as I said, our plans have changed incredibly. We have been planning our wedding and going through all the motions to get prepared for our July 2012 wedding day. We are both so excited that after 7 years we are finally going to be continuing a new chapter of our life together. 

At the same time we have been attending a lot of doctors appointments, as we aren't sure what our healthcare will look like once the wedding takes place and we currently both have good coverage. 

Due to some health problems we have decided that we should go forward with some general fertility testing because after the wedding our insurance may not cover the testing at all. There was enough reason for us to consider doing this in advance, as opposed to waiting until after we were ready to try, like most couples do and most doctors advise. 

I wont go into a lot of details about the testing experience, but I will say that after a few weeks we got news that, as it turns out all our dreams about one (or two) kids seem to have been flushed down the toilet. The doctor gave us the news that we will likely struggle to conceive and that while we may still be able to have kids someday it could still take years and that even then if we wanted to have kids we may need to research IVF treatments as an alternative option.

Of course, none of this was ever a part of any of our talks, until now. We weren't planning to have kids anytime really soon, as we certainly want to get through the wedding, but now we are faced with this news that we might not have kids. It has never been a question that we will still be married, but our thoughts were turning to "What will happen now?" "Will we ever have a little family or will it be just us?" "Will we need to do IVF?" and after researching, we found out that IVF treatments are no joke, that's something we'll likely have to take a loan out on just to afford, as it's so incredibly expensive.

We told our immediate family about the news and it has been a rough time for everyone. Of course, our mothers are sad for us, as much as we are sad about the news. We have some hope that even though the doctor says years, maybe he is wrong and we have appointments to continue with some follow up testing, but things dont look as good as we could have hoped for. So I'm not sure where we go from here, other than that we will continue to seek answers and hopefully get some better news along the way.