B is for Babies

One question that I often get asked is "What was it like to find out you were having twins?" 

I can only say that it is the most indescribable and surreal feeling. Imagine feeling every single emotion flowing through your body at the same time. Thats what it feels like when you hear you're carrying two babies.

We found out when the babies were only 6 weeks, which is pretty early, but my husband was about to leave on a 3 month long tour and I wanted him to be there at least for the first ultrasound. That meant squeezing it in early.

During the appointment the Midwife was so quiet. Many of you moms probably remember that feeling of anticipation when you're just waiting for them to show you the screen and see that little heart flickering. I was sitting there and my nerves were building up and finally I said "Is everything okay? Is something wrong? Do you see something?" I couldn't take the silence.

Then in the calmest voice ever my midwife turned to me and said "Well, Im just a little distracted because there are TWO babies." Then she turned the screen and showed me both their hearts beating away.

My husband, Mother, and Mother-In-Law all came and I just looked at them in hysterics (the happy kind.) I was laughing and crying and giggling and in complete shock. I was looking at my husband to see what his reaction was. We were all so shocked and the whole room just burst out in a laughter. I dont remember if the mom's cried or not, but it was just incredible.

My belly a few weeks before they were born!

Fast forward and here we are with two 4.5mo old twins. They are amazing and brilliant. Of course!

I've also noticed that when you tell people you have twins, whether they are identical or not, they often assume they are "the same." That is 100% not true. Milo and Brody each have completely different personalities even at this age.

Milo in the NICU! 

Milo was born first and he had this shrill cry. Ear piercingly high pitched. It was so loud the nurses in the NICU made us keep the door shut. He's the more active and high energy of the two. He tends to go to bed after his brother and wake up before. I guess he'll be the one that will be up at 5am for Saturday morning cartoons? He is extra chatty first thing in the morning. Once he knows he's gotten me up and he's got my attention he's cooing and smiling and telling me all sorts of things in his little baby gibberish.

Brody when he was first born!

Brody is much more relaxed. Sometimes I even catch him pausing from crying as if he seems to think Milo has it under control and obviously I'll be getting whatever it is they need. He seems to be the more calm laid back of the two. He doesn't mind change like being held by someone new or going to a new place or those types of things. He is pretty okay with just about anything. He has a deeper voice. Not deep, but different than Milo's. Not as high pitched. He talks when he has something to say, but isn't as much of a chatterbox as Milo. He likes to observe things. I often watch him and something really grabs his attention and he can focus on it for a while just trying to take it all in. He has this funny laugh that barely comes out because his voice is so quiet. its so cute and makes me laugh every time.

Together when we stayed in the NICU.

So, they are not exactly the same. Though I'm sure as they grow they will be similar in many ways (besides just looks), but they are still individual people and they still have different personalities and I'm sure they'll like different things. One of the biggest reasons I like to dress them different most of the time is because I dont want them to wear the same outfits all the time and feel like they dont have their own identity someday or possibly look back at their baby pictures and scoff at how many times they were dressed alike.

And Finally home snuggling them!

I have dressed them the same a handful of times, but we hardly have any matching outfits in their wardrobe. We have similar outfits with different patterns, but not many that are the exact same and I like it that way. I'm hoping to get some family photos done when they are around 6 months old and I'm sure for some of our photos we'll dress them up the same, but that will probably be the extent of it.

I guess I'll end by saying that I couldn't imagine just having one because having two is so amazing and having two that are the same age is even more amazing. It's not easy. In fact, many days it's tiring and repetitive and there are certainly days where Im emotionally drained, but it's completely worth it at the end of the day.

A long hiatus and a Short "catch up"

I left this blog at 18 weeks pregnant. I wont even bother catching you up from that point, as so much has happened since then and you really do not want to read a novel. I'll give you the basics in bullet form to make this quick and painless, so that I can begin the month of April with the A to Z blog challege. This is a personal challenge for me to write in this blog every day. But first lets catch up:

• WE GOT MARRIED on July 28th, 2012 in front of all of the special people in our life! A very special day to remember with a very amazing wonderful husband We also celebrated 9 years together in December! 
• My pregnancy was hard. I had appointments every two weeks with Maternal Fetal Medicine (for higher risk pregnancies) and then once a month I had an additional appointment with my regular OB. This increased to once a week after 26 weeks and twice a week some weeks. Then 2-3 times a week from 32 weeks on. I also endured almost 4 months of bed rest (on and off) and you'd think I could have used my blog during all my "down time" (pun intended) but I basically slept the entire time. Growing two is quite hard (though I have nothing to compare it to.) 
• The twins were born via emergency C-Section on November 27th, 2012 just a few days before their scheduled date of December 6th. They were 36 weeks. They were both EXACTLY 5lbs and 15oz and EXACTLY 19 3/4"! So if you want to talk about identical twins being identical... they really did a great job of that. No birth marks or identifying features to tell them apart, although mom and dad can tell. 
• Their names are Milo (Baby A) and Brody (Baby B). 
• Someday I'll write about my birth story here for those that want to read it.
• The boys are now 4.5 months old and just the most amazing little humans that have ever graced this earth (as any mom would say about her children.)
• Being a mom is better and more amazing than I ever could have imagined. I love every single day of it and wouldn't ever want anything different.
• Jon is the most amazing dad ever. He instantly was a professional at this whole parenting thing. He's so helpful and is great with the boys. He has no problem taking on two crying babies at one time and is all I could ever ask for and then some! 
  
  Our little miracles.
  We rarely dress them alike, but every once in a while for fun! :-)c
  
  

Formula Drift Seattle: Will I survive a big event?

Tomorrow Jon and I are attending Round 5 of Formula D at Monroe Speedway. I bought tickets as a gift for his birthday which was on July 11th. I wanted to do something he would enjoy because our wedding is the same month and he worked his birthday, so we didn't have our normal celebration for him. Plus with the babies on the way I know that these aren't things we'll be doing for a few years after they arrive.

Even while purchasing tickets to the event I was thinking "What am I getting myself into?"

I will be 18 weeks pregnant on Monday and I already get easily tired and worn out. I swear Im already waddling, but I think it's just in my head. I can tell that things that would have been no big deal before are now becoming more of a struggle to accomplish.

My main concern being how much walking will we be doing or not doing. I can walk for a little while without too much issue, but after a while I do need to rest and sit or else my back begins to hurt and I get tired.

My second concern was obviously eating, as the event is from noon to 8pm (we'll be showing up around 2 or so.) I did find out thanks to some amazing friends that I can bring in outside food and drink as long as it's sealed and unopened. So I plan to grab some things to snack on in the morning to pack in our bag. I'll probably still buy food while there, but at least we wont spend a fortune eating food there all day, since I'll probably be starving the whole time.

I jokingly told Jon it would be really funny to take photos of me in fromt of cars in the car shows with my pregnant belly, like how they have the hot skinny chicks model around cars. HAHA. He thought it was funny, but Im not sure if he'll actually do it. I still want to because I think they'd make for some really funny pictures to remember the day. If he wont take them I'll rally one of our friends to do it for me. I know someone will. :-P I will definitely post some photos, since I haven't taken any since I was 16 weeks.

So, I'm really hoping I can enjoy the event, maintain my energy, and stick it out so that Jon can fully enjoy his birthday gift. He of course, is willing to leave if I need to go home and rest and is completely amazing in making sure that I'm getting whatever I need. But Im going to try and sit often and eat and drink often, so that hopefully we can enjoy the entire day.

Car Dilemmas: Something you may need to think about

A few years ago I sold my massive boat-sized Cadillac because well I never felt comfortable driving such a big car. I had no reason to own such a large car, which might I add also guzzled more gas than I'd like to ever talk about.

I was set on getting myself an older Subaru Impreza and I wanted a coupe. Jon helped me find *my* car and it was love at first sight despite needing some TLC.

In any case, buying such a small compact vehicle was the best choice I have ever made because it fits in every spot and I feel comfortable driving it. And look... it's just so cute!

There is no dilemma until the shock settles and we begin to digest the fact that we are having TWO babies, not just one. Then there are all sorts of things to consider.

Will car seats even fit in my 2-door vehicle?

Will a double stroller fit in my tiny tiny trunk?

Will I be able to get the babies in and out of my car?

Just a few of many thoughts that have crossed my mind over the last 3 months. I have solved some of the dilemmas.

Car Seats: I found out from friends with children that Babies R Us allows you to take the car seats to your car and actually fit them in your vehicle. I can't even begin to say how thankful for this service I am. Jon and I went down to BRU one day and attempted to fit the car seats I had chosen based on various reviews and THEY FIT, with room for both passenger and driver. Although I will say if you had a very tall driver or passenger they may not fit so comfortably.

In case you're curious which car seat's we chose:

We are going to end up purchasing the Chicco Keyfit 30 car seats. They fit great. They are small, unlike some other models. The other thing I really appreciate about these is that they aren't too heavy. I'm no body builder, although I have a feeling lifting two babies and two car seats often will probably help in that department, but I still need the car seat by itself to be light weight enough that when I add a baby to the mix I can lift it. This seems to fit that requirement as well. Most of the other car seats were significantly heavier or they were too big to fit into the car. 

Tandem Stroller: Since my car has such a tiny trunk, fitting a stroller into it was a huge concern that I had. In fact, it was my biggest concern. After all.... if I can't put a stroller in the car how will I transport the babies, which then became the nightmare of "Will I have to get rid of my car??" and of course I absolutely do not want to do that if I can possibly avoid it. 

My first thought was how much luck we had at Babies R Us with trying out the car seats, so I figured thats the first place I should go to try out strollers. WRONG! So wrong. Not knowing this, I went to BRU to test out strollers. First, I was just testing them around the store for their ability to maneuver and then I was testing them to see how easy they folded and of course the FINAL test "Does it fit in the car?" Well, for some reason our tandem strollers of today have become like mini Hummers, with excess everything. I wont lie, I was always that lady that scoffed at massive double strollers in stores and now here I am finding myself in need of one. We tested every single stroller, even the ones I didn't like, alas, no stroller that was carried "in-store" fit into my little coupe.

It was time to take to the internet and see what I could figure out. After a little bit of digging I found that of all brands, Jeep makes a compact tandem stroller, that is actually pretty cute and after measuring my trunk I found that it should fit my trunk.

I immediately ordered the Jeep Traveler Tandem in Spark.

when it arrived I first tested it to see if it fit the way it was shipped (without the wheels assembled and various other parts.) IT FIT! IT FIT! It fit in my tiny little trunk. I drug it back inside and put it all together and spent some time figuring out how to fold it up, which was a little tricky at first, but not much worse than some of the other tandem strollers. I got it all folded properly and put in my car fully assemled.... IT STILL FIT!

I felt I had won the biggest victory. Their car seats fit and their stroller fit, with some extra room for a few bags of groceries or whatever else I may need. I wasn't expecting extra room, but I'll be glad to have it I'm sure.

I'll have to review how I like the actual stroller once they are old enough to ride in it, as clearly this stroller will not be their car seat stroller. It does fit one car seat, but not two, so until they are old enough to fit this stroller I am planning to get the BabyTrend Snap-N-Go tandem stroller frame.



 I still need to check the folding measurements to make sure this one fits when folded, as we dont want any surprises, but Im sure since it's just a frame it must fit. It just must!

Getting the babies out of the car: Well, while they are in car seats it will be a little bit of a juggling act. I think it will be okay getting the car seats out, but I will have to see once we have them and I can test them out completely. I think despite a two door car seeming very inconvenient at first, once they are bigger the car will be awesome. Think about it.... no doors for them to open (yes there are child safety locks, but if you ever forgot to put them back on...) and no window buttons for them to play with. Two babies completely contained in the back seat. I think it's quite perfect. So while it may be a bit of a hassle to deal with at first, in the end I hope it's worth it or I might have to let my little black beauty of a car go.

I'm sure more concerns will come up as this pregnancy progresses, but for now I feel the biggest one, which was the thought of purchasing a new car, has been laid to rest and can be put off for some time now.

Identical or Fraternal? Boys or Girls?

Whenever you tell someone you are in fact pregnant and then you follow the response that you're actually pregnant with twins the questions and stories come rolling in. I actually have found people's interest quite enjoyable. I love talking about my twins as an already proud mother, obviously. But I also really enjoy hearing their stories about twins they knew or twins in their family. I don't know that the stories are necessarily going to be any help in preparing me for such a big undertaking, but I always like to ask people how the twins they know have turned out, were they best of friends? did they hate each other? Did they grow up with identity crisis' or were they completely happy being a twin? I've heard the far ends of both spectrums from various people and I suppose there is no way to be sure they don't have a complex about being a twin, but one thing I've said since 6 weeks when we found out we were indeed having twins, was that I really wanted them to find their own identity and that I didn't want them to always think they were the same person because they will each be unique in their own way. Hopefully, as they develop their personalities I'll be able to find things that make them an individual and help them focus on those things. Of course, as much as I imagine how this would work perfectly in my head I know twins tend to have a whole plan of their own, a language of their own, and chances that I can actually emphasize that may be harder than I think. I guess as long as they are happy then I'm happy and as long as they feel equally loved then I'll be doing the best that I can.

The two questions I'm asked most often since the beginning have been:

"Do you know if they are Identical or Fraternal?" 

Not yet. Originally we were told that they would be able to tell around 10 weeks, but at our 10 week ultrasound they were unable to tell, but said they will likely be able to tell closer to 16 weeks or so.

"Are they Boys or Girls?"

Good question. I would love to know this answer as well because lets be honest... I'm ready to start getting their room put together, as it sits empty right now. The simple answer is it's still to early to know such a thing, but we should know around 16 weeks, as my team has told me they are willing to look at 16 weeks. A lot of other women have told me their doctors made them wait until 20 weeks and I know that private ultrasounds for early gender reveal are becoming more and more popular, but thankfully the office I go to is willing to take a peek.

Im currently 14 weeks, so just a few more weeks and I might be able to start to answer these questions when people ask me. Hopefully they cooperate for their ultrasound!

You're in for a real surprise!

Since my last post I did CONFIRM pregnancy. I guess that just goes to show you that you can't always be sure that the doctors tests are correct. Our "years" of trying ended up being just a few months. I know still that there are many people out there that do have to try for years and years and to those couples I just hope you get your positive very soon!

We do have a surprise. First we get the horrible news that we may NEVER have children without thousands of dollars invested in the latest medical interventions. We were just coming to grips with that news when we got the positive test results, that we are in fact pregnant.

At 6 weeks, we scheduled an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and hopefully see the heartbeat. We brought both our mothers with us for the appointment. I dont know how he was feeling, but I was definitely excited AND nervous. Part of me felt that I didn't want to start celebrating this really surprising blessing just yet because the doctors had already given us this horrible news that we couldn't have kids. I thought of everything, including the possibility that this might even be viable, but even then at least we would know that it wasn't impossible. I tried to think about all the positive things, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I had worries sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my name to be called, waiting to start the ultrasound already.

During the ultrasound, the midwife was so quiet. She wasn't showing me the screen, but my family could see a little bit. I kept saying over and over again "is there a heartbeat?" I felt like something was wrong because she was spending so much time looking at the screen. I probably repeated myself at least five times before she spoke.

Then she says "Well, Im just really distracted by the fact that there are TWO gestational sacs.

That's RIGHT! We're expecting TWINS!!!! 

When she said twins I started crying, laughing hysterically, turning bright red, and I had pretty much every emotion under the planet at the same time. I was happy they both had great heartbeats, they were both doing well for only being 6 weeks, they were TWO not one. I couldn't ask for more, but hearing that news is a total shock. It's a mix between panic of "OMG, I've never been a mother to ONE child and now I'm having two." to "Wow, we really struck gold. Maybe we should buy a lotto ticket because how did we go from not being able to have kids to now we are having two babies, not one."

Ultimately, I guess my fiance got his wish. He would always say he wanted two and i would always reply "We'll have one and see how that goes and then decide." I always figured we gotta at least try to do our best with one before we plan the rest right? Well, like I said in one of my first posts, life certainly has different plans that any of us could ever imagine. 

So begins Our Twin Life, as we will come to know it, you will too! 

This is a place I will write about the milestones of the pregnancy, the changes, the good and the bad. Their birth, but also being a first time mom to twins I know this will be a huge rewarding challenge in my life filled with good times and not-so-good times. There will be victories and hurdles. Im sure there will be plenty of sleepless nights, delirious ramblings, and things that I just have to learn along the way. No advice is going to prepare me enough for what these two bundles of joy will bring into my life, but hopefully other mom's of multiples can relate and hopefully this will be some kind of help to moms-to-be of multiples. Im not an expert at any of this, so this is all new to me, just as it might be new to you.